Charmed.

Dear Charm Bracelet,

I was flipping through an in-flight catalogue the other day when I came across you in the jewelry section on the page following the ‘Seksy’ watch. I was intrigued and then horrified that you are actually advertised as something someone might want when in fact, you are no such thing.

Obsessively collecting items that have meaning to you and no-one else is not cute, fashionable or cool. It is a mental illness. And you are a representation, nay, a manacle to that illness. Personally, I do not know anyone who ‘owns a charm bracelet’, however I am aware that it is a widespread concern in many different countries. So why are you allowed to persist?

Traditionally, you are a by-product of superstition and witchcraft. Now, I have nothing against organised religion, but I have to question your religious relevance when one is able to design one’s own version of yourself. Can we just go around designing religions? No, we cannot, and similarly, I do not believe anyone should be allowed to design a charm bracelet.

Which leads me to my next point of concern regarding your existence. You identify the latest trends and use them as launch-pads into the hearts and minds of ignorant girls the world over. This is disgusting behaviour and further proof that, if taken on your own stead, you would be rejected in a heartbeat. Not everyone wants 5 to 10 trinkets of butterflies, rainbows, teenage heartthrobs, hopes or dreams! Some people just want to go about life without being accosted by a collection of garbage on someone’s wrist.

I admit, I have leveled some heavy accusations at you, however, I am of the sound, educated and correct position that you are an aberration on the face of fashion and should be wiped from the very pages of the history you are unfortunately a part of. I hope you know where you can stick this 10mm by 4mm sterling silver replica of a gauntlet, because you deserve it.

Adrik